Course Description:

This course is allegedly a feminist critical examination of the lives and experiences of women.  This course should focus upon the vast lifestyles of women today in North America and around the globe; and their roles in society in the past and today.  It will, however, mostly entail inane discussions about surface issues, and skim any sort of historical context from which archaic notions burst forth.  Social equality remains the key issue for this class.  We will focus upon ridiculously asinine topics, such as pornographic "issues," name
changes upon marriage, euphemisms for human genitalia, and whether or not purple is a "girl’s colour."

      "Not dolls!  Action figures!"
         -Jian Ghomeshi

Our work in this class will build upon key terms and concepts related to equality and the intersections of gender, race, sexual orientation, and other social identities.  These buzz words are necessary to justify our major and not to reveal its true identity as a quasi-serious, pseudo-psychological farce.  Our goal, simply stated, is to reflect upon our world, recognise how it has been constructed, identify problematic areas, and generate possible strategies for change.  This goal, however, is completely watered down for people who need the credits but don’t really want to think, or analyse anything in depth.
The class discussions are a lively mixture of banal discussions, junior-high
poster contests and dioramas, dated and biased films, as well as observations of our everyday lives.  We will play "Girl Talk" and make you feel guilty for ever wanting to stay home with your children and cook instead of getting "real" jobs. We will devote entire class periods viewing graphic sexual images on the Internet, so people can get off whilst pretending to do "real" research about those poor, poor exploited women in the pornography industry.

 "Perhaps it is something you can watch with friends, or something that inevitably lends itself to shapely curves and bends of exploited women and their friends."
 - Jian Ghomeshi

My goal is to encourage you to develop your critical thinking skills, though I doubt very much that this is going to happen, because I am a very lazy and moronic person: I pretend to be sensitive to others’ experiences, but in reality I am a man-hating bigot, angry at the world for relevant injustices such as men not holding the door open for me and being told that I "throw like a girl."  We will not discuss the plight of women in Afghanistan; we will instead play around with semantics and change every word with a male-oriented reference to one with a female or gender-neutral reference.  We will not discuss why the United States does not encourage women to stay home with their children as many European countries do; we will instead talk about how women have sex with each other.  We will not discuss feminist issues as they are, but rather discuss sound bytes and oversimplified issues so we can pretend that we are having enlightened, intelligent conversations.

    "My sister has three gender biases."
           - Mike Ford

 Course Objectives

  To examine the nature of why women rule because they have internal genitalia.

  To identify how we define, construct, and evaluate concepts as "sex," "gender," "woman," "man," and "feminism" (and think about how weirdly we can spell things so everything will be cute and neutral).

To pretend that one of our objectives is to examine how the lives and experiences of women vary across different societies and cultures, but we never really will talk about any of those, because frankly, I can’t pronounce half of those Middle-Eastern countries or anything.

To explore how we think.  Yep.  That’s really food for thought, eh?

To force you to become "activists," even though you’re simply doing it for the fucking grade and not because you really give a rat’s ass.  It makes us look legitimate, which is what really matters.

 Required Course Materials

Text: Women: Images and Realities (a book that I sold halfway through the semester and for which I purchased a Neil Diamond CD in exchange)

Ms. Magazine (one issue to blow your money upon).  Available at bookstores and some places that sell magazines.  Well, no fucking DUH.

We also think it would be cool for you to get some porn magazines.

 Overview of course requirements:

You must complete all requirements in order to complete this course successfully.  I am not responsible for lost papers.  Keep a copy of your work either on computer disc or paper until you receive your final grade.  This covers my ass in case I screw up.  All assignments should be typed and stapled.  All assignments are due at the beginning of class for the date listed.  Late assignments will not receive full credit.

 Unannounced Quizzes                                             20  _____

 Project One                                                              10  _____
Whore Analysis
Media Analysis
Girls Toys vs Boy Toys Analysis
Girls Rule, Boys Drool Analysis (optional)          5    _____

 Project Two                                                             10  _____
Song Analysis

 Group Project                                                          40  _____
Womyn’s Faire

 Require Contributions                                             15  _____
Deep E-Mail Thinking
Stupid Poster
Hey, Pretend You Have A Penis Now! Whoo-hoo! Story
Fleeting Activism Moment For a Grade Report

 TOTAL OF ALL REQUIREMENTS                             100 POINTS!

 Instructions for Course Assignments:

 Each of the following assignments is designed to make you write really stupid shit about important things that we will never discuss in class.  These assignments could help us discover something about ourselves, and validate our own life experiences and the lives of women around us.  If I had any brains in interpretation, that is.

 I shall look for the following when I grade:

  Punctuation.
  Pretty fonts.
  Buzz words. (HINT: "Herstory" is a good one!)
  Suggestions for me about how to teach this goddamn class.
  Happy little trees.
 
 

 INDIVIDUAL PROJECT #1.

Whore Analysis:
 We will spend a lot of time in here talking about women’s sexuality.  We want you to get a really hot-and-heavy porn flick and pretend to critically analyse them.  Since most of you are guys taking this class to pick up chicks, we include this little exercise to keep you and Mister Happy amused. We know you like it anyway, so you might as well get graded for it.

A brief summary of the whore and what she was doing that made her so, so damn exploited

A brief summary of where the whore was, which made has even more exploited

What actually happened in the movie?  For example, did she have hot, sweaty lesbian sex?  What sort of sounds did you hear? Give an excruciatingly thoroughly-detailed synopsis about the entire plot, etc.  Include dialogue, and Kleenex (for extra credit).

Oh yeah…is this "harmful?"  Should movies like this be seen in public forums where small children can see the whores?  Provide a really, really brief summary (if you want to, I am still concerned with the above criterium).

 INDIVIDUAL PROJECT #2.

Media Analysis
 We are exposed to media all the time.  Media, media, media.  My dad and my friend Jason are both from Media.  In fact, they were usually exposed to Media 24/7!  All this media, so little time to really reflect about what is really happening to us subliminally.  So make a little poster or diorama about how media affects you, your culture, society, the globe, and your grade.  Think a lot, and don’t just use your red crayon.

A Girls Toys  vs.  Boy Toys Analysis
 Much of this course addresses gender stereotypes.  For this option, you will visit a toy store.  As part of our deep, deep discussion of socialisation and gender stereotypes, you will write (in CURSIVE writing this time, people) a paper reporting on your visit and critically analyse what atrocities and injustice the Easy-Bake Oven has given to girls who want to be homemakers when they grow up, or how blue Legos are for boys and pink are for girls, or how Ken only gets a plastic helmet for hair, or why juggling packages only seem to have male models.
In your paper, you must address any sign of foul play or foul gender stereotyping in the store, and promptly bludgeon any worker there for promoting such anti-feminist rubbish.  OOH!  Activist moment alert!

 * Girls Rule, Boys Drool Analysis
 I want a three-page paper about why girls rule and boys drool.  Fool.
 

You are going to have to make a really stupid poster or make up a little dance or angry poem for this one.  Then we are going to force you to go to this event where it is compiled mostly of sorority girls with guilty consciences, or angry, obnoxious femi-nazi renegades.  For added humiliation, we will send around various feminist zealots to scream obscenities at you if you suggest anything other than the accepted "Us Versus the Donna Reed Norm."  You will be forced to sit through absurd Madonna dance routines featuring slutty girls in hot pants and heavy makeup; "Yay We’re Gay" marches; and assorted self-righteous propaganda.  Legitimate issues such as safe sexual intercourse, rape prevention, and healing; political and religious atrocities committed toward women, and survivors of domestic abuse shall be brushed by the wayside because they are "too depressing to deal with on a serious level."  Instead, a femi-nazi instructor is going to come by your well-researched display about British nannies and demand an answer out of you not once, but TWICE (the first time you having clearly indicated your declination for an interviw), just to start an argument that really is not relevant. For an added kick in the ass, the next day we are going to talk about "harrassment" and what it is defined as in the dictionary:

 ha·rass (h-rs, hrs)
   tr.v. ha·rassed, ha·rass·ing, ha·rass·es

       1.To irritate or torment persistently.
       2.To wear out; exhaust.
       3.To impede and exhaust (an enemy) by repeated attacks or raids.

These verbs mean to trouble persistently or incessantly. Harass and harry imply systematic persecution by besieging with repeated annoyances, threats, or demands.  Unrelenting pursuit to gain a desired end.  (www.dictionary,com)
Then we can talk about our own actions as "concerned about harassment" ambassadors and how we get to harass people every day.  Won’t that be fun?

Read a very enlightening poem 
read by the very special
Doug Anthony All-Stars (Thanks, Beany!)

Get your womynist ass 
back to Exquisite Dead Guy.