As a small child, I did not watch "Gilligan's Island" - not out of spite; not out of disgust, but by default.  I only got PBS and occasionally CBS (at night, when the Muppet Show was on, thank god).  Sure, I led a sheltered life for the first seven years of my existence.  But baby, when I discovered that stupid show about people stranded on an island somewhere - I was hooked for life.It's a ridiculous show; yes, I know.  How the Howells managed to carry 300 sets of clothes on a three hour tour remains a mystery.  How Ginger managed to walk without falling over in her dresses and heels (ON SAND!) also has yet to be discovered. 

I, however, do not waste my time in trying to discover the answers to these queries, because THE SHOW WAS NOT REAL.

If you asked me who my favourite character was on the show, I'd be lying if I told you it was Ginger.  In fact, Ginger was my least-favourite character on "Gilligan's Island.  No, I hold a torch for the khaki-ed, Oxford-clothed, jargon-spewing man with the deep, trustworthy voice...The Professor.  He always struck me as the character  I would like to chat with most, because he was the only one with a vocabulary beyond "SKIPPER!" and "mascara."  He transcended the camp and the kitsch of the rest of the show, starting with the goofy sea-chanty theme-song. (Of course, as I write this, I *am* listening to Queen's "Flash Gordon" soundtrack: the ultimate in kitsch, I believe..."FLASH!  Ah-ahhhh...."  But I digress.)

The Professor was wise, kind, and oblivious to the world (other than his science).  He made MacGyver look like the Gap Troll.  Also, he never had a mullet, nor was Richard Dean Anderson ever on "Space Ghost."  (Which you can see if you click here.)

But what of Russell Johnson, the man who played The Professor?  I was curious to know about the bloke inside those magical everlasting chinos.  He's in his mid-70s now, I'll reckon....so I emailed the man via his official website (run by Dreama Denver, who is married to Bob Denver, the man who played Gilligan).

WHAT A SWEETIE!!

I am pleased to say that Russell Johnson is the nicest celebrity I have ever talked to, aside from John Flansburgh of They Might Be Giants.  Not that I've talked to many celebrities, mind.  He graciously agreed to be interviewed for Exquisite Dead Guy, and I think I only asked him eight questions.  So anyway, here is the exclusive Exquisite Dead Guy with Russell Johnson, aka "The Professor."  And Russell, thank you for being such a good sport.  You're a very nice man.