I have been living a lie for the past twenty-three years.  
I knew what I was at around six years of age; and, since that revelation, I've knowingly deceived my family and close friends.  
I've brought forth shame to the Teeple name.  
So this, being my soapbox of...whatever this is that I do here, serves as an opportunity for me to finally come clean and muster up the courage to confess openly that which you may have suspected of me for years:

I AM A ROBERT PALMER FAN.

I refuse to apologise for my music tastes, but it IS a trifle embarrassing to be SEEN purchasing one of his albums.  And i'm not talking "HOT 80s" compilation CDs, but real, actual ROBERT PALMER CDs.  
It seems it is socially acceptable to sing along to Robert Palmer if he pops up on the radio, but to actually take the initiative to purchase one of his albums is not.  In fact, it's shameful; and I know because I've treaded that weeded garden path myself.  A hepcat pal of mine (we'll call him "Alberto") once caught me in the act of purchasing a (not surprisingly) dirt-cheap "Addictions: Volume I" CD.

"Hey Alice!  What are you getting today?"  asked Alberto.
Panic.  Ummmm....begin with the most socially-acceptable.

"Rufus Wainwright's new one; a new-wave compilation and a Rmmmbrrrmummer CD," I mumbled.
"A whatta-whatta CD?"

Zounds!  Foiled again!

"Robert Palmer," I said, reddening and lowering my head, as he eyed me querously - then groaned.
"Robert PALMER?" he chortled and pointed.  "Get out!  You?  I thought you liked goofy shit, like Pink Floyd the Barber!"

I do!  I do!  But I like stupid shit too!  Is that so wrong?  

I wanted to cry and hide in a hole somewhere.  Apparently it is too square to enjoy Robert Palmer, unless of course you like him ironically  or for "camp value."  
I'm a rotten liar, and any attempt I'd make to save face would have resulted in Alberto's defiant mocking. My fondness, I'm afraid, is genuine.

Fine, fine.  But really, kiddies, what's NOT to like about Robert Palmer?  He embodies suave, fun-loving white soul. You have to be a kohlrabi growing in a treacle well to not be able to identify Addicted to Love or Simply Irresistible.  They're catchy and fun: pure and simple.  It's good pop.  There is nothing pretentious about his music; his lyrics are funny; and come on - his videos are classics!  

The unfortunate thing is, Robert Palmer is the Jack the Lad of the music world.We, we happy few, who grew up during the 1980s, know and love his hits: Bad Case of Loving You; Some Like It Hot; Johnny and Mary (if you're from the UK); but nobody really likes him enough to actually go out and purchase his albums.  Those who do, must be embarrassed to keep them.  As i peruse the musical selection of the local Goodwill, I espy  many a Robert Palmer album, nestled between Air Supply and Chico DeBarge.

I know of only two other people on this planet who simultaneously possess and enjoy Robert Palmer albums, and I admire their guts to admit this freely.  But now, since I have the rapt attention of EDG fans, I will say this: if your tendencies are leaning toward purchasing any Palmer albums, I would suggest Heavy Nova.  I can guarantee you will never find the better songs on any 80s compilation album.  Give the man another shot, will ya?

Click here to see a bizarre remake 
of the Addicted to Love video.