THE TROJAN BEAR (1190s B.C.)

This photo was taken in 1198 BC, eight years into the Greek siege on the fortified city of Troy.  Shortly after the photo shoot, the Bear was left in a carpark in the Strip Mall region of Troy, where cleaners wheeled it inside after closing time.
 
 

The largely-shoe-and-
handbag-driven
Trojan economy never fully recovered from this blow, and fell two years later to Menelaus' army and their more widely recognised 'Trojan Horse'.
 

The original Trojan Bear can now be visited in Hermann Park, Houston.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


The Colossus of Peter (4500 B.C.)

The discovery of this marvellously-preserved effigy, on an island somewhere off the coast of Cyprus, sent the art-world reeling.  Several controversial theories claim that this was constructed from basalt by female slaves on the island, and presented to the king of the ancient society (which once occupied the island)  as a fertility aide.  Unfortunately, several decades later, the society was destroyed by a volcanic eruption.  Nothing is known about the recipients of the Colossus of Peter, but thankfully this fascinating piece of art remains with us today.  It currently resides in the British Museum.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


The Cursèd Turtle of Malta

This photo, taken in 1946, is the last known documentation of the whereabouts of what scholars now refer to as "The Cursèd Turtle of Malta."  The Turtle, discovered by shepherd Rene Framboise in 1924, soon earned its title when Framboise tragically got attacked by a ram in a field one overcast morning.  Since then, everyone who has touched the Turtle has met a similarly grisly fate.  The woman in the photograph, one Miss Mabel Macnamie, vanished sometime soon after this photograph was taken (photographer unknown), the turtle with her.  Local legend has it that Miss Macnamie was last seen astride the turtle, wearing a large black hat.  The location of the turtle is now a historical puzzle, lost to the ages and the sands of time.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The Gargoyle Paterno

This photo of renowned burlesque actress Marian Barion-Tweathe with the Gargoyle Paterno speaks volumes.

Tourists from all over the world pay homage this bronze baron, wondering if the rumours of its power to heal bunions and carpal tunnel syndrome are , in fact, true.
The sculptor of this piece is unknown, but believed to be the great-grandfather of Yahoo Serious.  The Gargoyle Paterno guards the entrance to Stadium Beaver, located in the wilderness of central Pennsylvania.  Traditionally, pilgrims to the site would kiss the necktie of the Gargoyle for luck, but recently they have taken to giving him high-fives.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The Maceyan Metro Fresco 

The most famous façades of the Paris Metro, long thought destroyed.  This mosaic piece portrays a young sailor on his first nautical journey.  Note the jaunty angle of the sailor's cap, the determined expression upon his face, and the spectacular mosaic work on his shirt.  Legend has it that the artist, a starving young man from Liechtenstein, came to the Paris Metro and got commissioned to do this in exchange for several croissants and a garlic baguette.  During World War Two, the Résistance cleverly disguised Paris's most famous mosaic in order to hide it from the Gestapo.  Thankfully, their efforts were rewarded, and we can enjoy this beautiful fresco today.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

  The Dubious Giant Wall of Sound

Built in 1836 as a cloister for the Jesuits, until the extraordinary acoustics (as legend has it) persuaded them to manufacture deaf-aids and raspberry jam.  Has been used in various music videos more recently: most notedly, the video for "They'll Need a Crane" by They Might Be Giants.  No one knows much about the history of The Dubious Wall of Sound, but it can be visited in New York City's Central Park.  Dozens of fans of They Might Be Giants, as well as the odd rollerblader and pigeon, pay homage to this holy site every day.