| I should
explain the background of this story. So I brought a puppet to a
bar, because I thought it would be fun to have it dance with people.
Unfortunately, some pranksters with a Sharpie decided to give my alligator
a curly moustache AND a tattoo which read "MOO MOO" (for the Dead Milkmen).
It turned out to be one half of T.A.T.U. and some tall guy who looks vaguely
like Howard Stern. I was rather distressed to see the alligator defaced
so nastily, but my friend Melissa chipperly told me she could get out the
marker.
THEN! I received
this cryptic email from my alligator puppet! No joke! I wonder
if Melissa and Mark are up to mischief...and how my puppet not only learned
how to read and write, but send emails from Melissa's account!!!
And if Melissa and Mark aren't really slave drivers!
 pssssssssssst....
Mistress Teeple....
sh. silence please.
it's late here,
now.
my keepers are resting
in darkness.
It is I.
your long lost allicegator
puppet. managed to log on, send you a quick how do you do
here I'm at some
sort of rehabilitation sanitarium.
strange goings on
here.
im placed several
times now in some sort of large machine.
there I was liberally
covered in some potion they call a 'stain remover', scrubbed, doused, tossed
and massaged with water... foamy bubbles...rather a violent storm, nearly
drowned.
Had some garments
to cling to, kept afloat.
Sort of reminds
me of the swamp, only...smells nice like. ick. gag. hack.
then another machine.
the HEAT, blasted heat. blasted. like a sauna.
been through so
much as you know.
since the traumatic
events of that eve, have had several of these treatments during my stay.
could all this soon
end? they won't say.
must be to remove
the tattoos. ones were left on my abdomen and across my face, plus to mention
my outfit, might b soiled beyond hope- images faded some, yet scars in
my heart will take the longest.
why? how? what?
they don't tell me anything here. the ignorant bastards.
I hear the tall
one snoring. he calls me a crocodile! NAMES! shhh
they call me names
here.
'sniffle.
ok, I feel better
now. I know u shall get this message my momma. really im ok
crocs are very resilient.
yes i'm fine now.
still , how i miss
u, nothin but a limp rag without ya. er? yeah. that's puppet humour.
how do you like
my typing?
Must be going. Say
I just noticed the oddest thing, in a cage? I sort of fancy a snack.
Yes. It is...a packaged
snack! I saw my captors bringing food over there earlier, fattening it
up I suppose.
they call it 'Aengus'.
Maybe like those aengus burgers I've heard of... this one has fur. big
eyes. cute. don't know should i eat or date it.
they tell me you
have replaced me with some other puppets? NO! they're meaning to break
me. I shant believe them, scoundrels and liars! shhh.
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